Lacoste Selvedge Trousers – In Electric Blue

A fairly bold statement. Again these trousers are most definitely for when the sun shines or the evenings are warm.

A fantastic colour unquestionably. I have two pairs, the other in a tame navy blue.

A great fit. They are at least true to size or possibly come up a little big. I am a 33” waist and the 32” waist fit perfectly. Rather flattering in fact. Indeed the dual buttons serve to effectively contain my little Kuato belly. Essential. So reassuring to know that little Kuato won’t be beckoning passers by ‘ Quaid, Quaid turn on the machine ‘ whilst those two buttons hold fast.

Other excellent attributes of the Selvedge include the tricolour band on the turn ups. A pleasant and exciting feature to distinguish yourself from the hoards of chino wearing folk. The electric blue will also add to this cause. A little Crocodile on the hip pocket further enhances these trousers as the credible summer attire of the southern European male and not some rot from Hennes.

Can be worn with the turn up or for a smarter look as a trouser. I favour the turn up.

I debuted the Electric blues with a black cotton John Smedley crew neck tee and a pair of black Pare Gabia’s on an end of season night out to Hotel Ushuaia in Ibiza for a closing party.

I have to say I thought I looked pretty special in this outfit that night with the electric blue perfect capturing and alluding to the mood of the evening.

Pretty special that is until I fell down four steps by the swimming pool and smashed my face in.

Fortunately all in the vicinity were quite sympathetic. There were no scousers chortling, delighting in their derision.

Lucky I wore the black tee as well since my nose was bleeding.

Not one to let a mere flesh wound curtail ones evening, after I had stopped the bleeding I composed myself and saw fit with the might of my electric blue trousers to raise the stakes.

The cabaret for the evening arrived in the form of dancing circus girls who would rise and fall on glittery disco balls above the stage. Armed with my gold ( Very Immense Penis ) wrist band and in an intermission I sought out the fittest circus girl and wanted to test the trousers. After a charming monologue from myself which included my interest in her circus background? How I was in fact myself a pretty accomplished dancer and how given time perhaps we could perform a routine. Circus simply turned and said, since she hadn’t been looking at me through my dialog that:

“ she didn’t understand a word I was saying “

I think she did though.

So I’m afraid it’s one mark against the trousers in this case for failing in a supporting role.

Not to be outdone after my slip and rebuke that accolade fell firmly to the fellow gold wristbander who was leaning and being sick over the two ornamental pink pigs at the entrance to the hotel bar.

Thanks dude.

Security grabbed him menacingly. Not to be seen again.

The Selvedge’s dry cleaned well. Negligible loss of colour.

Other items in the Lacoste LIVE range are of note also. Some good designs and vibrant colours. Essential southern European wear.

Lacoste wouldn’t provide me with a photo so I’ll think you’ll find my paintshop effort at the top of the article to be a worthy representation.

Available from Selfridges or the Lacoste Live shop off Carnaby Street.

http://www.lacoste.com/live/gbr/home 

Acne Max White Jeans

‘ Puerto Banus, Gianni Versace and David Coulthard ‘ was the reponse of my best friend when I asked him if he thought I could boldly go where few jean wearing men fear to tread.

I have been here before though. A forlorn affair with a pair of cream Levis 501’s in 1994. It ended badly. A malibu infused go home stain courtesy of some drunken bint. Hardly unexpected on a night out in England. The white jean is not for these shores.

My only other recollection of white jeans is from an incident I haven’t recounted since my teens. Daniel, Kelvin and I had been drinking at the Queen Phillipa in Queenborough on the Isle of Sheppey. Upon leaving and crossing the road we witnessed a car hit a cat. The cat spasmed, looked quite upset, spasmed some more and died.

A drunk local walked towards us, early thirties, heavy build, pretty scarey looking. A hard man. He wore a pair of pristine new white Levis 501’s. He too had witnessed the cat hit and run, but from slightly further away and was now making haste towards the cat and us.

‘ Aaaarrgghh what the fuck are you guys doing?!  Don’t just watch the cat suffer, you need to put it out of it’s misery ‘

Pretty sure it was very dead by now.

In any event angry white jeans man proceeded to prize a brick from a nearby crumbling wall and walk up to the dead cat. He bashed the cat over the head about half a dozen times with the housebrick. Cat splatter decorated his white jeans up to about thigh height.

“ There you see “ he said “ no more suffering “ at which point he picked the cat up by it’s tail and swung it into a nearby bin.

Acne jeans are definitely my brand of choice. The Max fit suits me best and I think it is the best fit. I have fleeted with Mics but Maxes are better. That they make inbetween sizes, 33/32 in my case means you are sure of the right size. They are a great white I have to say and the length is perfect as sometimes with Acne this can be a lottery. An end of summer purchase which will be sealed until next spring and destined only for adventures abroad. All in all a first rate pair of jeans. Pricey though the Acnes.

The emergence of David Coulthard as the offical champion of the white jeans is what swung the pruchase. His commitment to the cause and repeated donning of white jeans has in my opinion both elevated them to the fore and made them acceptable for the British male. No longer the privilege of a sunned Ronaldo and his oily friends David Coulthard you have succeeded where many have failed miserably. You are a Formula One race winner, live in Monaco and have tupped some amazing women. These are you staple pantaloon of choice.

With my sports motorcycle, seafront residence and the fact that I have at least fubbled with a few girls who might have made it into Atomic Kitten I am a pale imitation. Pedro De La Rosa to your Monaco wins. It’s enough for me to qualify though as far as I’m concerned.

Whilst I will immitate Coulthard’s accompanying shirt choices I like to think I could trump him on the right choice of footwear. His brown mule looking loafer’s last time out detracted from his Playboy swagger. Firstly brown suede shoes in any guise other than Original Car Shoe or Tod’s and particularly if they are swaying on mule size mean you run the risk of looking like you have two big horse feet.

A close friend Neil, whom likes to be called P-Dog, failed to gain entry to our hometown nightclub one Christmas reunion because he was wearing trainers. Insisting he had a good idea he asked for my socks. A pair of Pantherella dark brown merino wool ankle socks to accompany my mahogany Berluti’s. I duly obliged. Neil proceeded to put my socks over his trainers. In essence now sporting a pair of massive brown horse feet.

We made it past Duane the head bouncer. A notorious local mid 50’s nasty piece of work. ‘ See that was easy ‘ said Duane not quite rumbling the horse feet because whilst an accompolished psycopath Duane was a comletely thick cunt. Past bouncer number two before the smaller vicious number three rumbled us. ‘ Here Duane this guy’s only gone and put his socks over his shoes ‘

Dog had his head smashed into the door on the way out courtesy of Duane, whilst small angry number 3 punched me particularly hard in the back kung fu style three times. I managed to duck Duane on the way out thankfully. My socks were ruined.

I will be looking to match the white Acnes with a pair of Kitsune Venetian moccasins in navy blue or royal blue. A suitable paring.

www.acnestudios.com